Not Over You
by xthesebonesx
Summary: Set after 4x09; After receiving Bonnie's help to suppress his inner demons, Jeremy's realizes just where his heart is, and has been, all along. But will it all be too little, too late?


**A/N: Because Beremy is adorable. And because this song gave me so many feels because I heard it IMMEDIATELY following. It describes them perfectly. I'm a Bamon shipper until the end, however, the show did not give this ship the justice it deserved. If they really are planning on going there again, I hope they just fucking do it right, this time. Anyway, this is slightly AU from what happened in 4x09, as far as Bonnie leaving and stuff. Enjoy! **

**Not Over You**

"_How are you feeling?... Any better?"_

Jeremy looked up from his feet, as they dangled over the edge of the dock. His gaze was met with none other than _her_ own, as her eyes shined like emeralds, with the reflection of the moon and the lake hitting them so _perfectly, _he could have sworn he was seeing stars.

He laughed bitterly as he watched her; so small—so _petite—_staring at him with wide, but calm eyes, and her hands folded over her chest as another gust of wind rolled by.

He had known her all his life; he knew everything _about _her. From the way she liked her coffee—one creamer, two sugars— down to the way she slept at night—with her head comfortably between two pillows, on her left side, and half of her torso covered by her blankets.

She was one of the last things that he still knew. And he believed it was why he had never stopped trusting her.

_Even when he had given her every reason not to trust him._

"Let me guess; they sent you out here to 'check on me?'" he finally asked, and she sighed.

Bonnie walked in a bit closer, as he breathed in deeply. She sat down beside him, and looked at him quietly. She wasn't saying a word, but he was feeling _everything._

From concern, to sadness, to hope, to strength; it was all there in her eyes. Just like it had always been.

"_They _didn't make me do _anything,_" she reassured, with a short smile. "You know that."

He did. Because he knew, above all else, Bonnie was never the one to take any shit when it came to him. She'd been the biggest protector in his life, thus far, and some days, he wondered what he could have ever done to earn something so great. She was the epitome of _good; _the cornerstone of perfection, as far as girlfriends went, and just how he managed to screw that up with one fatal kiss was beyond him.

_And just how she managed to see past it—see past everything—and be here for him, during his darkest time, was remarkable. She was remarkable._

"I'm feeling okay, I guess," he finally said, after a long silence, and her eyes remained focused on him. "No more urges to kill my sister… though I still have the overwhelming desire to stake Damon," he said honestly, and Bonnie laughed gently, as her green eyes shone just as brightly.

"Well, I don't think there's a spell for that. It's… probably just because he's Damon."

Jeremy bit back a smile and she wore her own, as she finally turned to look out at the water—letting the sounds of the breezy night filter throughout their ears for just a few moments before he finally decided to speak again.

"How have you… been doing? With the magic?" he asked, and Bonnie curled her fingers behind the fabric of her long-sleeved sweater. "I mean—the last time I saw you, you were—"

"Hurt?" she interrupted. "Distraught about my Grams? In Pain?... Yeah, I—It was rough," Bonnie admitted. "But I'm okay now," she smiled. "Shane has been helping me, and… things have been better. A lot better."

Jeremy remained quiet for a moment as he reflected his thoughts on the mysterious Professor who had come here to the lake house on the first night to help Bonnie de-spell his hunter instinct. The guy seemed nice and knowledgeable enough, but there was just something off about him that Jeremy couldn't quite pinpoint.

He seemed to know _too much _for a guy who was just teaching a few Occult classes, and he was perhaps a bit too involved with Bonnie, as well; but Jeremy couldn't decide if that was his logic or jealousy talking.

_He still didn't know._

"So, are you two…" he trailed off, and Bonnie's dark brow rose. "I mean—he's really interested in you, Bonnie, and—"

"It's not like that," she said, and he pressed his lips. "He's just a friend. A… very wise and resourceful friend. Who helped _me _help _you," _she mentioned, as she nudged his chest lightly, and let out a short scoff as her index finger pressed against his black t-shirt, and quickly released. "Don't get so worked up about it."

Another long bout of silence passed between the two as she sighed, and looked back out at the water; slowly bringing her knees to her chest, and lazily resting her forehead on them. He didn't turn his chestnut eyes away from her, though, as he watched her chocolate brown hair floated moved with the air, with each motion.

He could honestly watch her all day.

"You're staring, Jer," she said, and a hint of remembrance ignited like a fire within him, as he recalled the nickname that she used to call him so frequently.

"Can you blame me?" he asked bluntly, and she finally turned to face him once more. "Do you… honestly blame me for feeling the way that I do?"

Bonnie shook her head softly, and let out a tiny scoff; instantly evading his eyes the moment the words passed his lips.

_It had only been just yesterday when Damon told Jeremy to attach his "warm and fuzzy" detour feelings onto somebody else—somebody that he loved, cared about, and wanted to protect—and Jeremy chose _her.

_Someone had finally chosen Bonnie, first, and he succeeded—as his hateful feelings towards anything fanged were overwhelmed with his thoughts of the witch sitting before him.  
_

_He was able to stop himself because of Bonnie—because he _trusted _Bonnie; it was undeniably a fact, at this point, that she would always be the one to save his life. Even without her magic._

But even though she smiled about that yesterday—about the fact that Jeremy still cared—she didn't seem to be budging otherwise. And why would she, he thought? He betrayed her when he hooked up with Anna. He made it clear at the time that he still loved the ghost, too; if he was expecting Bonnie to just forget everything and jump right back into his arms after he did that to her, he was kidding himself.

He didn't even deserve her staying here, with him.

And it was clear that he was making her uncomfortable by the look on her face right now, as she shifted slowly, and let out a sigh before pursing her lips.

_He was still ruining everything._

"Jeremy, don't do this—"

"Don't do what?" he asked boldly. "Don't… make it clear that I still care about you?" he asked, and her tongue rolled over her teeth. "Because you know that I do, Bonnie. You _know _it… I chose you over Elena, didn't I?" he asked firmly, and she let out a laugh of disbelief as she rose to her feet. "Hey—where are you going?"

"Away from you and this conversation. I don't want to have it," she replied honestly, and he watched as she walked off quickly and back towards the lake house.

Jeremy immediately stood to his feet and followed after her, keeping up pace with the small witch, as she stormed through the back door—leaving it to nearly crash on him. Once in the house, he glanced at his watch and let out a sigh.

It was 12 A.M. Damon and Elena wer probably sleeping—_or pretending to, anyway—_and he was sure that his oncoming words with Bonnie would be sure to wake them both up.

_Whatever. He didn't care at this point. What he was going to say needed to be said, and he wasn't ashamed about it. His only hope was that Bonnie would hear said words, and not find a way to shut him out, as she so frequently did when she was upset about something._

And besides that? She was still a witch. She could shut him up just as easily as she wanted to. It didn't matter how many pounds he could bench press, these days.

"Bonnie?" he said, as he knocked at the guest bedroom door. "Talk to me. Please."

He didn't hear anything from the other side of the room, and he let out a long exhale before knocking once more.

"Bonnie—"he tried again, only to be interrupted, this time.

"It's late, and I wanna sleep. You should too," she urged. He tapped his fingers against his thigh. "Goodnight, Jeremy."

Jeremy bit his lip and stood there, motionless for a minute, as his thoughts raced through his mind.

She was right. He really _should _just leave her alone, at this point—because he had done nothing cause her hurt and pain. She suffered a bunch of consequences and lost access to the powers she had gained through the witches _because of him;_ because she chose to save his _life, _and accept whatever the hell may have been coming her way, just so long as _he _was fine.

Bonnie had literally gone to hell and back for him, but he couldn't help but feel like he gave her nothing but hurt, in return. First, with Anna, and next with leaving to Denver before he had the chance to fix anything with her—he had completely fucked up.

Jeremy breathed deeply, as he slid to the ground, and pressed his back against her door; tilting his head up at the ceiling, as he recollected all of the ways he could have made this right—_if it were even still possible—_and he shook his head in exasperation.

In how many words was he supposed to say that?

It honestly made him _tired._

"I… never got to apologize to you, Bonnie," he began. "At least not the way that I really wanted to."

Jeremy didn't hear anything from the other side of the door frame as he sat there in a stark silence, and considered whether or not any of this was worth saying, anymore.

Bonnie didn't want to hear his explanation or apology back then, so why should he subject her to it, now? It wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't erase the fact that she deserved much more than this, either. Apologizing to her now—the way that he always wanted to—would only make him feel better, he realized.

Did it make him selfish because he was just seeing that now?

"I… wasn't over Anna when we got together," he confessed, and Bonnie didn't respond. "I… still loved her, when we got together. And I should have been honest with you about that, but I just… I wanted to feel that way about _you _back then, Bonnie. I _needed _to feel that way, and now that I do… it's just too late, isn't it?"

Jeremy sat there for a minute, as he closed his eyes, and reminisced about the tears in Bonnie's eyes when she finally knew the truth, and he felt the hole in his heart only beginning to expand.

"I always remembered what you said," Jeremy started again, as his chest tightened, and his shoulders slumped against the door. "You made it a point to say that Matt let go of Vicki, before I let go of Anna… Matt… chose what was _right _over his sister," he said softly, as he bit his lip. "But I think that I finally did that too, Bonnie; you are the _right _path, and… I chose you yesterday, over Elena, because… I—I love you," Jeremy breathed.

He felt the air in his throat get caught, as the words finally expelled from his lips, and strangely paralyzed him.

He _loved _her; he loved Bonnie Bennett, and though he had never been able to say this once before, he was saying it now.

He was saying it because he knew it; he could finally say it because he _meant it._

"I love you, Bonnie," Jeremy said, a bit more strongly, as he rose to his feet, and faced the closed door that stood between them. "And… I'm not going to stop until you believe about that."

Jeremy's fingers curled into fists, as he stood there, expectantly, and within moments, the door finally opened, to reveal the small girl. She stared up at him with shaky eyes, and a seemingly tearful expression as the silent exchange between them slowly crippled her as well.

Jeremy's eyes softened immediately as he glanced at her, and Bonnie shook her head incredulously as she wiped away a faint tear, and pressed her lips together.

"No," she said strongly, and his brows furrowed. "You don't, Jeremy. Y-You can't—"

"But I do," he cut in, as another tear dropped from her eye, and onto her cheek. "I love you, _so much. _I do—and I always will."

Bonnie shut her eyes to hold back her tears, and she turned away quickly to evade his eyes.

This was just all too much, and she didn't know if she could handle it anymore.

She had spent so much of her time—so much of her being—loving this person, only to get hurt greatly in return. She risked everything for Jeremy, including her _life, _and she'd always considered herself a fool for caring so much about him when he had never made it quite clear that he ever felt the same.

But now that he did, could that change everything? Should she allow it to change everything?

"Bonnie," Jeremy said softly, as his hand landed on her shoulder, and she breathed in deeply at the familiar feeling of his hand against her.

She inhaled slightly as a wave of calm settled over her, and Jeremy noticed the tenseness in her shoulders evaporating away the longer he touched her.

He licked his tongue over his lips, and placed the other hand on her shoulder as well, as he began to massage them softly, while Bonnie didn't say a word about the interaction.

She didn't have to; for, he could feel everything _she _was feeling, with just one simple touch.

Her pain, her affection—it was just all so transparent, as Jeremy formulated his fingers against her, and moved in much closer, as his lips brushed against her ear.

She shivered.

"You still… love me too," he whispered, and Bonnie didn't respond, though she gulped silently.

His lips pressed to the back of her neck, and she inhaled a long breath while her eyes remained shut and Jeremy's hands traveled down her spine.

She shook her head incredulously and began to walk away, only to be stopped abruptly, as Jeremy now appeared before her; with widened eyes, and a curious gaze as she looked down to the ground.

"You can't just give up on love like this, Bonnie. You _won't._"

Bonnie finally looked up, and he watched as something filtered behind her eyes—something stronger—while she studied him quietly. She moved in slowly, and Jeremy watched her, like a moth drawn to a flame, as the woman before him dropped her hands to her sides, and opened her mouth to speak.

"Loving you _hurt _me," she said, as she shook her head. "Falling for you _ruined me_."

Jeremy moved in even closer, and Bonnie exhaled as his hand landed on her cheek, and his thumb caressed her jaw.

His eyes never dropped from hers.

"And losing you completely destroyed _me. _Loving you, Bonnie, is the only thing that can _fix _me. And I know, now, that it's the only thing I've ever really wanted—to be in love with _you_."

Before Bonnie could say another word, Jeremy's lips were pressed to her own in a sweet, but fiery kiss, as his hands pulled her in by the waist. She struggled to catch her breath as his mouth moved against hers, and Jeremy inhaled longingly when her fingers grasped at his hair.

She hadn't kissed Jeremy in, what felt like, _ages, _but somehow, it seemed as though she had only done it yesterday.

_Time literally stood still, when it came to him._

As his warm lips engulfed hers even further into the kiss, it was as though a floodgate of emotion barreled over her; reminding her of all she had felt for him once before.

_What she still felt, to be quite honest._

Her back crashed against the wall, and her fingers trembled as they slid up Jeremy's shirt, and pressed along his abdomens. He didn't waste any time drawing lips over her neck and pulling her in by the torso, as the intensity of the moment increased with each passing second.

_It was more than just wanting Jeremy Gilbert, she realized, as she ripped his shirt over his head and he buried his mouth against her collar bone, while she struggle to catch her breath; she physically _needed _him, at this point, and she wouldn't be satisfied with this—or herself—until she got what she truly desired._

She needed his love. She needed affection.

_She needed to know that he dreamt about her every night, just as she did him, and that she never quite got over the very first person to show what love truly meant._

Jeremy showed her what love could do; as he brought her to life in ways she'd believed unimaginable, and took her spirits to places that they had never seen.

He was taken aback, quickly, as the tiny witch firmly pushed him onto her bed, and climbed on top of him with no hesitation.

His hands gripped at her waist and slid up to her hair, as her lips planted kisses all along his stomach, and he gently breathed her name into the air.

_One simple word had never turned her on so much, in her entire life._

His hands unbuttoned her jeans and slide them over her waist, as Bonnie stopped him, and Jeremy breathed erratically, while his eyes searched hers.

Bonnie didn't say a word, as he lifted a tender hand to her jaw, and she breathed deeply as his fingertips brushed along her cool skin.

She bit her lip to hide her gentle smile, but he noticed it immediately, and flashed one back.

_It wasn't until then that she realized that she could still get butterflies in her stomach, at eighteen years old._

Jeremy took both her cheeks into his hands, and she shut her eyes as his lips landed softly and sensually against hers, in the most heart-stopping kiss she had ever received in her life.

Everything within her ached, as he teased at her lips slowly, until finally sliding her shirt over her head, and tossing it behind them, as well.

"Jeremy—"she started, and his index pressed to her lips to stop her.

"I know what you're going to ask," he said in a low voice. "I know exactly what you're going to say… And the answer is _yes, _Bonnie; _yes, _I promise to _never _break your heart, again. _Yes, _I promise to be there for you—through everything… _Yes, _I _swear _to love you for as long as I live."

Bonnie's lips curled into a soft smile as she gently pushed his hand away, and tightened her grip around his shoulders; gazing directly into his honest eyes, and falling even harder with each simple gaze he directed towards her.

_Simple, yes, but that was all that she wanted; she only needed to know the truth, and with his most bare gestures, he was giving her that. He was giving her everything._

"I… just wanted to know if you were going to make me breakfast in the morning after we wake up," she said, and his brows furrowed as her grin spread. "You're… really good at making pancakes."

Jeremy let out an easy laugh, and Bonnie yelped as he flipped her beneath him, and pinned her arms against the bed, with his body hovered against hers.

"_What makes you think you're getting any sleep?" he whispered, with a smirk._

Bonnie giggled softly before letting out a sharp moan, and closing her eyes to complete and total bliss.

**A/N: Do you have feels? I have feels, haha. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed me vacating from the norm and doing a Beremy story, for once! I really actually kind of enjoy these two, and I think the show needs to just let them do it already, LOL. Too blunt? Oh, well. Read and review, babys! ;) **


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